go forward in bold steps that satisfy your desire for progress

Dreams often escape me. I have no way of knowing they happen. and they are gone as soon as i know they might have occurred.


but i just dreamt of you. of her. of her and i. I dreamt that she rested her head against my back, and asked to stay there, to not move. And she fell asleep. not in my arms. my arms couldn’t stretch in that direction. but her arms were around me. Standing upright with our feet in sand and the sun setting causing the amber wash to turn everything a warm tan. All my hands could do were help secure your arms to my body, ensure adhesion.


There was more to the dream. The act of getting to this place. No one knew us, we had stolen away northwards with no plan or destination, and we stopped for a moment. And in that moment we realized that we had made it far enough.





Then i woke. calmly pulled out of sleep. Peacefully. not the way life is disjointed when the huge split between deep sleep and awake come crashing in to one another. but more like the moment of a nap when you become bored of sleep and roll up in one motion to awake. it’s a good feeling. It makes me wish i dreamt more often.


Something specific about something else. music.


In the rolling moment from dream to real life that just occurred, I was met with the album “Ramda” by Mice Parade. Specifically track 2 “Distant”. This album is a sprawling melodic encounter. It meanders in ways that makes you want to take the long way home, maybe hoping to never get there. It lulls you as much as it excites. Listen to it.


But lately, in fully awake mode i’ve been switching back and forth between a couple MF Doom albums “mmm food” and “operation doomsday”, Vampire Weekend’s eponymous album, Feist “monarch”, and the last Electrelane album we will ever hear “No shouts no calls”



I want to describe them to you. I want to tell you to go listen and have them. Is listing them enough. Do you trust my musical tastes? Do i have to convince you. I prescribe to Ellington’s belief of two types of music, good and bad. I try my hardest to stay on one side of that line.


I remember being younger, investing myself into music. Continually searching for something obscure or new, so i could lay some ownership over it. So i could claim that it was mine. I would covet what i found, I wouldn’t share. Partly because I didn’t feel people deserved it because I had worked so hard to get there, to that point. But also because I didn’t want people to use this thing i shared as leverage on other people. I didn’t want to let people lord over it, because they knew it and someone else didn’t. It doesn’t make you cool that you can point out someone that’s not hip to what’s what. However, now is different. I want the world to hear what i hear, maybe up the ante on people’s expectations. And visual art is no different. Ini’s mom said it in a letter to me, “art is supposed to be shared”.


I had long taken the same stance, just in a more clumsy worded way. It involved equating art made for yourself as being frivolous for me to engage in, so why show it off. Why not keep it in your closet and pull it out when you need to feel good about yourself. We make these things so people can see them, we make things to disseminate them out into the world for public consumption. Sure this has more to do with reception theory than with sharing music, but the musician and the artist are the same. We all try to scramble to put ourselves out there. And i think as an artist I’m trying to alter the visual landscape. I’m trying to make it better. More enjoyable.


Same thing with this writing. Put it out in the world for people to get behind. I have no high hopes, but i like to think that i’m doing something you can believe in.



so whatever, go listen to what i listen to. give it a shot.